BlackBerry in a brown hole!

http://www.iol.co.za/news/back-page/stolen-cell-found-in-bergie-s-underpants-1.1050233

Stolen cell found in bergie’s underpants

March 31 2011 at 01:18pm
By Mandilakhe Tshwete

A cellphone thief was caught red-handed when a cellphone he hid in his underpants suddenly rang.

The bergie and his friend walked into a restaurant in Belvedere Road in Rondebosch on Tuesday night looking for food.

They saw the owner’s expensive Blackberry Torch lying on the counter, took it and ran away.

But the owner spotted them just in time and immediately contacted his security company, Sniper Security.

Sniper’s managing director Ridwaan Mathews says: “We received a complaint about the two coloured males who walked into an eatery and stole a cellphone.”

Ridwaan says his men got to the scene quickly and managed to catch the bergies.

“The owner of the business came and identified them,” says Ridwaan.

“When the security officers confronted the two suspects, they denied stealing the Blackberry and became extremely aggressive.”

The owner then decided to call his phone from another cellphone - and everyone was surprised when they heard music coming from one of the men’s groin.

“The client phoned his cell number and the phone rang on one of the suspects,” says Ridwaan.

“The security staff discovered that one of the suspects had hidden the Blackberry in his filthy, rotten, stinky underpants.”

Despite his cellphone’s close encounter with the bergie’s bum, the owner was only too happy to have it back.

“The cellphone is the latest Blackberry (worth R6 000) and he didn’t care if it was smelling or not, he took it back,” says Ridwaan.

The man decided against laying a charge with police. - Daily Voice

Zapiro proves Radovan Krejcir is respectable

Tell this to ANYONE in Linbro Park!

Our roads, the neglect, the general lack of representation. Tell anyone in Alex, Primrose, Boksburg ... ANC's shining record of service delivery!

Japan's suffering knows no end ...

Had Moses been around today, he would have considered Crocs to be a pestilence comparable with the seven plagues, Julius Malema and the Proteas. The poor old Japanese have to cope with this, after the quake and tsunami.

Many people have Tweeted and retweeted, so I thought it was worth capturing the story:

http://bit.ly/hHseRi

WASHINGTON — US shoemaker Crocs said it was donating 100,000 pairs of its clunky, colorful rubber clogs to victims of Japan's devastating March 11 earthquake disaster.



(They also hate Haitians)

The company also sent 80,000 pairs of shoes to Haiti after its 2010 earthquake disaster.

The most surreal pic of Earth and the moon

North of Africa and the Arabian Gulf, with the moon hovering. Taken by Russian space crews. Verry niiiiiice!

Why the Proteas choke, according to a psychologist

http://www.health24.com/news/Columnists/1-4618-4641,62031.asp

The more you tell sportsmen not to choke, the more likely they are to do it. The more they are lured in interviews to insist that they will not choke, the more likely it becomes. Thinking you (or "we") may have lost control, loses control. It's not the same as panic - in a panic you have no idea what to do. In choking you know exactly what to do, and have often done it before - you just don't do it.

What are you doing, Graeme Smith?

Proteas and Google Search: Naughty word in this one: be warned ...

ANC Youth League website was hacked this afternoon

Back to normal, but this is funny! Hat doffed to Samantha Perry at ITWeb.

Update: If you can't read the small print, it says that Julius Malema is to step down as ANCYL president.

Update: ITWeb has posted a story: http://bit.ly/hOdGo9

And a bigger pic: http://on.fb.me/i4YLAK

This is how they love cricket in India

India playing Pakistan. A single mall has six floors with people watching like this. This is the Inorbit Mall in Vashi/New Bombay, as advised by my colleague Usman.

Why India must win!

In the midst of some Linbro tension, a light moment (thanks to my mate Jeff Delaney for this!)

http://tinyurl.com/6xbaa6h

Indian model vows to strip for World Cup win

Women in India are encouraged to dress modestly at all times, but a brasher side to modern life has been exposed after a popular model vowed to strip naked if the nation wins the cricket World Cup.

"I'm a cricket fanatic and I'm a diehard supporter of my nation. India needs a lot of support and this is my way of supporting the team"

Poonam Pandey, 20, who features in a best-selling Indian swimwear calendar, said she wanted to provide an incentive to players by promising them she would bare all -- though whether her offer will be welcomed is not known.

Coming to a street near you, if all pans out in Linbro Park as we expect

U

Update: If anyone considers this racist, obscene or extreme, they should think about the terrible, vile, obscene pig slaughter at the bottom of Clulee. So far, nothing has happened. Instead, criminal charges were laid against me. Go figure. Charges overturned, but the prosecutor asked for R2 000 lunch money, in front of witnesses.

Commission backs ritual slaughter
Mar 29, 2011 11:33 AM | By Sapa
Communities should continue to slaughter animals as a religious and cultural practice, the Commission on the Rights of Culture and Religion says.

Commission chairman Wesley Mabuza said conflict between animal rights activists and traditionalists were brought about by misunderstanding.

"They should listen to each other to understand one another," he said at the launch of guidelines on African ritual animal slaughter.

The Commission researched animal slaughter for ritual ceremony after the outcry over ANC heavyweight Tony Yengeni's slaughtering of a bull in a cleansing ceremony following his release from prison.

Animal rights activists objected to the slaughter on the grounds that the practice constituted cruelty to animals.

Mabuza said traditionalists believed the ritual was part of their culture and that objection to it was an infringement on their rights to freely practice their religion.

The Commission recommended that communities continue to slaughter animals for cultural and religious purposes, but that care be taken to consider the rights of other people who might be sensitive to the practice.

My personal statement on Linbro Park resignation

Apart from my blog, which just coincidentally is called linbropark.blogspot.com (a legacy from back when, and if I can change it, I will), I am out of here. I will also post on the DA's and ANC's vision for Linbro and am available to post news sent to me. Except for anything Nic ever says again. He has abrogated all rights.

Nic's sulphurous vitriol, continual sniping, his politicking, his legacy issues, his hidden agendas, his utter and filthy lies, his flirting with my wife and staff and journalists, his attacks, his innuendo, his unspeakable language, his bipolar nature, well, I have no time for them. One minute he calls you for assistance, the next minute he's posting the most awful filth. I'm not sure how he sleeps.

I can't do this. I am busy building businesses, and I am busy with tons of stuff. I have a family I love, a 15-year-old, a two-year-old, a wonderful wife, and 100 people who depend on me for their daily life, and dozens of clients to look after.

I cannot spend hours every day fighting this nonsense, with attacks coming out of left field every few days. My time is billable, after all.

One man can pull an entire neighbourhood down. He is a terrible distraction from daily life, and I lack the bandwidth or the will to fight something so intractable. It is of less than zero value.

I can't and won't be part of this any more.

Someone else, somewhere, can take Nic on, but for now, I don't have an hour or two a day to fight this absolute garbage.

I work 16 hours a day, I put in so much time for community work, and he slams left, right and centre.

Well, that's it. He can do his thing and someone else can fight this extraordinary human being.

Someone else must take over administrative rights on the CPF list, as I'm out of there, too.

Regards to all the fine people in this area. Good luck with dealing with Nic. I've had a bellyful, and I need to get on with the businesses I am creating. I am building while he destroys. No more.

We are not Proteas, we are Artichokes!

Thanks to the Citizen for this.

Democracy unstoppable, and information is the driving force

http://nyti.ms/e47Uk1

But now people know. They communicate through the clampdowns. They are Facebook-nimble. The despots gaze into their gilded mirrors and, to their horror, see not themselves but the people who will be silenced no longer. They wonder then if their own myriad agents can be trusted. They are caught in their own web. They flail; they have gone too far to turn back but cannot go forward.

Memories of Fred Titmus and his lost toes

Sheryl-Ann, well known to so many in Linbro Park, and who worked here for a decade, mentioned the death of Fred Titmus to her husband, Tony, whose brother was the late Tiger Lance. Tony met Fred at Bloemfontein CBC where he was coaching, and pointed out to her that Titmus took many hundreds of wickets with just a right big toe. Geoff Boycott was there:

ST: Our next question comes from Greg in the UK and it concerns your former England team-mate who also played for Middlesex, the allrounder Fred Titmus who passed away recently. Greg asks: What are some of your memories of playing with Titmus, and how would you remember him as a cricketer?

GB: A very good competitor. He didn't say a lot but he was a very astute and smart bowler. He was a flight bowler more than anything - didn't push it through. He varied his flight, he spun it. There was no doosra in those days but he had more or less an arm ball that just drifted away. He also obviously had the straight-on topspinner. He was also a lower-order batsman who had a good defence, and he was a good square-cutter. That's sensible when you're mainly a bowler who can bat a bit and don't have all the shots like a batsman. He was smart with his batting and could get occasional runs.

Most people wouldn't know that he was my first opening partner in Test cricket. We were playing in Nottingham in 1964, the first Test against Australia. I was picked to open with John Edrich. Edrich stood on the ball during fielding practice in the afternoon, and overnight his foot had swollen up. Those days - I know it seems laughable today - we only had 12 players. We usually had an extra bowler. So we had to play all our bowlers because Edrich couldn't play, and Titmus had to open with me.

I also remember an incident in 1968. We had a few days off in Barbados during the England tour of West Indies. He was swimming in the sea just off the beach. If any of you has been in the water, you'd know that when you lift yourself up the side of the boat, your feet go underneath as you pull yourself up. When he got in the boat, he saw there was blood everywhere. His toes were hanging out. His foot had caught the boat's propeller, which sliced his toes. Fortunately his big toe was still there.

Whatever the surgeons did to him, he returned to play later on because the big toe apparently is the most important digit on the foot for balance. He could run again, but with a slight limp, and he played on and was still a very fine bowler. A good bloke to play with, a good professional.

This morning's high wind

Pulled down a chunk of a tree in our garden. Anyone walking there at the time ...

Wal-Mart is coming: this is very funny

http://newsletters2.mg.co.za/servlet/link/6026/48712/6491826/465406

I never intended to shop at Walmart. Ever. After all, Sam Walton and family represented all I was raised to sneer at.

Update on Friday's storm: the Braamfontein bridge did collapse

Congratulations to Candice Bailey and her photographer, Itumeleng English.

Shahid Afridi gets the wrong reply from God

Shahid Afridi prays: “Dear God, help me get back my form and help Pakistan overcome India in the semifinal.” Suddenly a voice from above booms: “ My son, I do not think I can help Pakistan beat India, as I have a conflict of interest.”


Afridi replies: “Is that because we are all God’s children whether we are born in India or Pakistan?”

And God replies: “No, it’s because I open the batting with Sehwag!”

The DA's Cape Town Story

In the spirit of fairness and transparency, I am going to allow both the DA and ANC, and other parties if they wish, a chance to tell the world what they envisage for Linbro Park, through this blog.

Starting, today, with the DA.

Darren Bergman is running for the DA locally. He will give us his vision for Linbro Park on Wednesday.

The ANC has been invited to participate.

Viva, democracy.

Note: On a personal note, wherever the DA is in charge, things work, are clean, roads are fixed, stormwater drains cleared, billing systems work, compassion is the order of the day, corruption is relatively absent, and quality of life is far higher. The DA just makes things work, damn it. The way we all want.


http://www.da.org.za/campaigns.htm?action=view-page&category=9075&sub-page=9280

Our missing cat

He is a little darker than this today, but otherwise the same size and shape. All help appreciated.

Owlbox: this is what it looks like

Reger wanted to know what an owlbox looks like. Here we go. It is the greatest investment you can ever make in Linbro, given our prevalence of rats. More to come, if anyone wants to know, as to where to get or how to make one.

My ornithologist wife Karen and I come close to worshipping owls.

My former colleague Guy has posted this incredible pic of a storm over Sydney

No wonder Guy left PR to take up photography!

Snake dies of silicone poisoning after biting model's chest

 http://fun-loving-friends.blogspot.com/2011/03/snake-bites-models-bust-dies-of-silicon.html

Note: This woman is reported to have the most surgically altered body in Israel. Eish! This story is reportedly true and has been widely reported. It was first reported by ABC of Spain.

And here is a picture of the incident:

Orit Fox, a B-list model and actress initially looked comfortable during the shoot in Tel Aviv, wrapping the massive boa constrictor around her legs, waist and neck while doing her best.
In a figure hugging red and white striped dress, which revealed maximum cleavage, she gamely tried to take their bonding to the next level by licking the snake's face. As she manoeuvered the animal into position for the 'kiss' Fox loosened her grip on its neck, and after being licked the reptile reacted angrily.
It aimed straight for Fox's prized assets and sunk its teeth deep into her left breast. An assistant rushed in to help her pull the snake off and after a few seconds of struggle the creature released its grip. The peroxide-blonde model was rushed to a nearby hospital and given a tetanus shot. However, the snake wasn't so lucky and died from silicone poisoning.

Friday night's storm caused millions of damage to NE Jhb

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Looklocal-North-East-Joburg/106559969417526

Smiffy definitely least successful WC captain ...

http://www.timeslive.co.za/sport/cricket/article989112.ece/Biff-is-worst-World-Cup-skipper

Lord of the Dance in 3D ... knitting needles in my eyes, rather, please

Thanks to Monique for bringing this to my attention.

Tap dancing, line dancing, Irish choreographed dancing, anything like Riverdance or Michael Flatulence's Lord of the Dance ... rather French kiss a bullfrog.

www.lordofthedance3d.com

Our 6 big chokes down the last 15 years

Warning: makes for painful reading.


http://www.espncricinfo.com/icc_cricket_worldcup2011/content/current/story/508048.html

And more on our okes who can't swallow

http://www.espncricinfo.com/icc_cricket_worldcup2011/content/current/story/508061.html

Choke. It's the only word that matters. After a campaign filled with renewed hope, experiments that worked, personnel changes, a new-age psychological plan and five clinical wins in the group stage, when it mattered most, nothing had changed. South Africa choked.

Stay away from Sunninghill!

Update:  IOL reports a man was swept away across the highway in Alex:

Johannesburg Emergency Services on Saturday morning were also searching for a man who was washed away while crossing a pedestrian bridge on 21st Avenue in Alexandra on Friday afternoon.

Spokesman Percy Morokane said he and the bridge were washed away due to heavy rains.

Ellen Chauke, a spokeswoman for Alexandra residents, said the man was the third person to go missing in the river in less than three weeks.

She said many homes on the river banks were flooded in Friday's downpour.

http://www.iol.co.za/news/south-africa/gauteng/joburg-bridge-collapses-in-floods-1.1047523

Update: I popped in there and met a Sunninghill CPF forum and otherwise active community member, Judith Taylor. The Star was also there. These are the first pics to be published. The Star will publish tomorrow.

More pics to follow. The cables are telecom cables which were swept away in the torrent, which crested 3m above normal levels. The bridge did not collapse, and it was the Sandspruit, not the Braamfontein, unless I was at the wrong place, which did not seem likely. It was damaged, though, and there were dozens of Neotel technicians restoring telco connectivity.

http://www.citypress.co.za/SouthAfrica/News/Bridge-collapses-on-Witkoppen-Road-20110326

Bridge collapses on Witkoppen Road
2011-03-26 09:37

A bridge along Witkoppen Road in Johannesburg’s northern suburbs collapsed this morning due to heavy rains, according to metro police.

Chief Superintendent Wayne Minnaar said the bridge crosses over Braamfontein Spruit, which is the longest stream in Johannesburg.

It collapsed between Rivonia Road and Witkoppen Road in Sunninghill at 5am.

And this sums up the chokers' exit

http://blogs.espncricinfo.com/zaltzman

South Africa’s patent Achilles heel, their elongated tail, was exposed, and New Zealand maintained ruthless pressure. Where India beat Australia with decisively good play, South Africa lost to New Zealand due to decisively bad play. Only Johan Botha was dismissed without batting error. The Kiwis closed out the victory through their own excellence, but the game turned on an outbreak of self-inflicted South African chaos. South Africa placed New Zealand’s hands on their own throat. New Zealand gleefully and clinically completed the strangle.

Smith’s men needed 4.5 per over for 25 overs with 8 wickets in hand, with one certified and one potential future greats of the game at the crease. Constricting bowling should not have been enough. If making pivotal errors of decision-making and execution at crucial stages constitutes a choke, then this was certifiably a choke. A fast-acting, quick-spluttering, unHeimlichManoeuvrable choke. And it was painful to watch, even as an Englishman.

Sums up Oz's exit from the World Cup

I cannot confirm the authenticity of this pic, but it is fun.

First in a series of unfortunate headlines

"Deputy: Strip Search Finds Crack Between Buttocks" -- WYFF-TV (South Carolina)

Geoff Boycott on Michael Yardy's depression: such a compassionate man

"I'm surprised, very surprised," Boycott told the 5 Live Breakfast Show. "But he must have been reading my comments about his bowling, it must have upset him. Obviously it was too much for him at this level. If any blame is attached it's partly to the selectors because I'm sorry, he's not good enough at this level."

Update: Boycott then said: "I've been, with respect, a better player… so I've not been in the position where my quality of play has been poor and got to me mind-wise." Boycott proceeded to muse on his own setbacks and lack of depression: "I've been lucky, I've been good enough.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/mar/27/geoff-boycott-depression-jack-nicholson#history-link-box

Update:
By Richard Hobson (The Times)

ANDREW Strauss became the most celebrated critic of Geoffrey Boycott yesterday (Friday) when he accused one of his predecessors as England captain of demonstrating a "fundamental misunderstanding" of the depression that forced Michael Yardy to pull out of the World Cup squad and return home.

Players have been angered by Boycott's simplistic view linking the illness to cricket ability and then putting it in the context of his unflattering view of Yardy's bowling during the tournament.

Those comments were widely condemned by individuals and groups including Sane, the mental health charity.

James Anderson, on his Twitter page, hinted that the BBC should not have interviewed Boycott on the subject. "There is not getting it and not having a grasp of the modern game or life in general," Anderson wrote.

Strauss was one of the few members of the squad to be made aware that Yardy was managing the illness on tour and was also close to Marcus Trescothick when his England opening partner at the time began to suffer from something broadly similar in 2006.

"I think [Boycott's comments] showed a fundamental misunderstanding of the issue," Strauss said.

My mate Duncan's dog has to wear this for a fortnight

With five dogs, we know all about Victorian collars. Three of our pooches have had to wear them. Duncan's other bullie, Emma, howled for days while Max was at the vet getting his ear fixed. Duncan hardly slept a wink. Our labbie, Bella, smashed her Victorian collar inside three days. Good luck, Duncan!

Today's Protea limerick

I couldn't be any broker
If I'd played Warnie at poker
I feel like a louse
I bet the darned house
On a team led by a choker

Freezing Libya's assets, Zapiro-style

The good news about climate change ...

Remarkably, crop yields are at an all-time high, and the Sahara is retreating. That's what this blogger says, and it seems stats support him.


http://blogs.forbes.com/jamestaylor/2011/03/23/global-warming-is-creating-perfect-crop-conditions/

Depression is real ...

A good friend of mine across the highway suffers from depression. Michael Yardy has done the right thing.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/icc_cricket_worldcup2011/content/current/story/507748.html

Yardy withdrawn from World Cup

Michael Yardy, the England allrounder, has been withdrawn from England's World Cup squad after suffering from depression. He returned to the UK ahead of England's quarter-final against Sri Lanka in Colombo on March 26.

Think twice about taking part in Earth Hour this weekend

http://www.newser.com/story/114865/earth-hour-wont-solve-our-energy-climate-change-troubles-bjorn-lomborg.html

Earth Hour' Is a Joke
We need real green solutions, not just 'feel-good' movements: Bjorn Lomborg

(Newser) – This Saturday night, environmental activists are calling on the world to dim the lights for “Earth Hour”—a nice idea, but one that may actually be counterproductive. Look at it this way: "If everyone in the world participated in this year's Earth Hour, the result would be the same as turning off China's carbon emissions for roughly 45 seconds,” writes author and activist Bjorn Lomborg in USA Today. It’s “symptomatic of an environmental movement that has become too focused on hollow, feel-good actions that at best only inch us in the right direction." 

This is a very clever piece of vandalism ...

There is a new McDonalds going up 3km from Linbro Park. Anyone who has ever resented buying their children McDonalds will enjoy this. The venue is McDonalds in Long St.

(Credit to http://10and5.com/2011/03/24/mcdonalds-outdoor-defaced/)

My good mate Brian Bakker says Graeme Swann is an oxygen thief

Well, he is way, way ahead of Fred Titmus, who died yesterday, and was the greatest exponent of his craft in his day.

Fred played over the span of five decades. To put that into perspective, the late Eddie Barlow played over four decades, and he seemed indestructible. Clive Rice, John Traicos and Peter de Vaal also played over four decades. Gary Player played pro golf for four decades.

Swann will never play this long (life has changed, Swann is absurdly wealthy and enjoys the good life), but he is easily the most successful spinner England have produced in half a century.

Who says so? Scyld Berry.

Addendum: Note from where Titmus is delivering the ball, and the thin Mike Gatting behind him and the helmetless batsman backing up. Omar Henry did me in Cape Town with one of these 26m deliveries. The late Stuart Leary nearly did, but he bowled it from 30m.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/international/england/8401946/Fred-Titmus-former-England-and-Middlesex-bowler-was-a-master-of-his-craft.html

The ugliest cricket stadium in the world: Headingley

Whoever designed and executed this should be forced to listen to Boney M for a week.

Update: The locals in Yorkshire agree.
http://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/sport/cricket/chris_waters_disgruntled_members_throw_stones_at_21m_greenhouse_1_3202818

A link between the murder of Cyril Beeka and Linbro Park

UPDATE: Carte Blanche led with this tonight, in a definitive broadcast. It was mind-blowing to see the people all brought together. Link is defective, but follow this tomorrow: http://beta.mnet.co.za/carteblanche/Article.aspx?Id=4326&ShowId=1

UPDATE: Sunday Times chronicles the trail of death and destruction relating to Radovan Krejcir. All of it happened to our direct east, from Edenglen to Bedfordview,  to OR Tambo.

http://www.timeslive.co.za/local/article988999.ece/Krejcir--four-years-of-murder-sleaze-and-mayhem 



702's Stephen Grootes provides an excellent backgrounder on the Beeka hit and more:


http://emma.thedailymaverick.co.za/servlet/link/3890/48464/4252125/463095


UPDATE: Beeka exposed as SA spy

Startling evidence has emerged that murdered underworld kingpin Cyril Beeka was an intelligence operative working for the South African government.

This has blown the lid on a spy-versus-spy drama within the country's intelligence agencies that pits national police boss General Bheki Cele against those loyal to his predecessor, Jackie Selebi.


http://www.timeslive.co.za/local/article988986.ece/Beeka-exposed-as-SA-spy


UPDATE: As a courier company, RAM specialises in importing diamonds in its bags, as reported by investigative journalists. The entire Beeka-Radovan-Jackson saga revolves around bringing stuff in and out of the country. No culpability inferred or implied, but you can see why the presence of a difficult neighbour such as RAM would interest me. I am at heart an investigative journalist.

UPDATE: This is what Cyril Beeka's hit looked like.

 Cyril Beeka was murdered in a hit in Cape Town on Monday. He was, IOL reports, "the national head of security for the courier company RAM Hand-to-Hand". Many will know the problems we have had with overcrowding, pig slaughter, loud music and more in Clulee with regard to RAM employees.

Beeka had been implicated in some of the most astonishing underworld activities. Jackie Selebi, Lolly Jackson and more are linked to this terrible saga.


Try and follow this saga as it unfolds. Stephen Grootes is reporting it on 702:

http://www.ewn.co.za/articleprog.aspx?id=62283

The Cape Argus has this report:

http://www.iol.co.za/news/crime-courts/beeka-s-gangster-links-1.1045679

And this schematic ...

Another legend goes ...

http://www.espncricinfo.com/england/content/current/story/507644.html

Fred Titmus played a lot of cricket in South Africa. I never played with him, but I did with John Emburey, who rated Titmus one of the finest technicians the game has seen. Mike Selvey confirms it in this tribute.

Not a great day, then. Fred Titmus and Liz Taylor gone, in one day.

He played for 33 seasons, scoring over 22 000 runs and taking 2 830 wickets.

They don't make them like this any more!

Karen snapped this sky while driving towards Linbro Park yesterday afternoon

http://karenheydenrych.wordpress.com/2011/03/23/independence-day-like-clouds-yesterday-but-no-aliens-landed/

Vodacom getting an image remake

http://www.techcentral.co.za/vodacom-globe-in-a-jam-causes-a-jam/21989/

My good mate Duncan has posted this. Very funny!

Julius Malema's best friend tells us how life ended on Mars

http://bit.ly/euHBpj

Chavez says capitalism may have ended life on Mars 

Democracy arriving in our last enclave

I have followed King Mswati III's life with great interest since my son James started asking me questions about him. The man is one of the last true despots in the world. And he is definitely going down.

http://www.iol.co.za/sundayindependent/king-declares-war-ahead-of-swazi-uprising-1.1045316

King ‘declares war’ ahead of Swazi uprising

March 22 2011 at 12:31pm

Maureen Isaacson

The Jasmine Revolution that has spread its discontent from North Africa has taken fire in Swaziland, and Swazi King Mswati III has declared war on his own people, an NGO warned this weekend.

In the wake of Friday’s mass protests in Mbabane, the Swazi capital, Lucky Lukhele, spokesman for the Swaziland Solidarity Network, said the protests, which also took place outside the Swazi consulate in Johannesburg, were “a trial run” for an uprising that is to take place all over Swaziland on April 12.

End of Ponting's career ... makes perfect sense

Punter has not scored a century in 18 matches. Every indication is that Oz are in terminal decline. This means they will win with more effort than before!

No Oz captain has had to witness the structure collapse around him as it is; not even Kim Hughes.

He has become like a bear with a sore tooth. But his record will speak for itself. Gday, mate!

http://bit.ly/fbr2xo

Et tu, Brutus?

http://www.espncricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/507068.html

Julius Caesar prepares to play the cut before lunch and before May, with the thinnest of bats. Goodness, no wonder he didn't have any cricketing career.

Graeme Smith's batting ...

Again, thanks to Brian Bakker for bringing this to my attention. Graeme Smith will NEVER be confused with Graeme Pollock.

Smith bats as if he’s trying to obliterate the very concept of beauty – in fact, Classical scholars have announced that they are reassessing whether Oedipus skewered his own eyes out due to his understandable guilt about the whole inadvertently killing his daddy and kerplonking his mummy business, or because he had just seen Graeme Smith play a cover-drive.

Just choking ...

http://www.espncricinfo.com/page2/content/story/505570.html

Thanks to Brian Bakker for bringing this to my attention!

Choke at the Altar
An old Deep Purple song gets new meaning
Deepak Gopalakrishnan and Krish Ashok

March 21, 2011

Poor Proteas. Most times, pre-tournament form favours them. They're really talented. The neutrals love them, unlike the other dominating team. And every time, something happens. It's almost like they invent a new way of getting out.

This song could be South Africa's new anthem. As a sport-loving neutral, I hope the buck stops in 2011, but I could be cho… er, joking here. To be sung to the tune of Deep Purple's "Smoke On The Water".

We all came down to Melbourne
With a deadly easy scoreline
To break records and in some style
We had a lot of time

But Frank Ducky and one other
They had a different plan in mind
'Cus some stupid said just for fun
Score 22 off one

Choke at the altar
Look up at the sky
Choke at the altar

They burned down some Indian's house
'Cos he failed to score on the ground
Funky Lance was smashin' in and out
We made the Sixes round.

In the final over
We shoulda sealed a finals place
But poor Allan was run out
Hansie's palms were on his face

Choke at the altar
Look up at the sky
Choke at the altar
(solo)

In '03 we played really we-ell
We survived some early scares
But in our last league game, again we tied
And with a ball to spare

With a lot of time, a few old hands
Who thought math could be a threat?
No matter what, don't remind him of this
I know, Pollock will never forget

Choke at the altar
Look up at the sky
Choke at the altar