Gotta love Africa Mk III

Earning R4 000 a day for doing absolutely buggerall.


http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/DG-gets-R15m-for-doing-nothing-20110320DG gets R1.5m – for doing nothing

2011-03-20 12:18
Gcina Ntsabula, Thanduxolo Jika and Julian Rademeyer

Johannesburg – One of South Africa’s top-paid government officials is earning a salary of R1.5m while he is sitting at home, doing nothing.

Another official’s salary has been described as a “state secret” because should it become public knowledge, it could undermine national security!

The director generals of South Africa’s state departments earn astronomical salaries but they are not keen on sharing this info with taxpayers.

Rapport gained information about the DGs’ salaries in accordance with the Promotion of Access to Information Act (PAIA).

The man, who is getting his remuneration package of R1.5m a year while sitting at home, is Siviwe Dongwana, the director general of the department of public works.

He has not been working since December 2010 because he is being investigated for alleged misconduct and dereliction of duty.

He was suspended only seven months after his appointment.

The man whose salary has to be kept secret, apparently in the interests of national security is Mzuvukile Maqetuka, the director general of state security.

Yesterday's downpour ...

I got caught at Greenstone, hitting a brick or rock which had rolled into the road and burst my right front tyre. I drove home with a flat at 5kph in the torrential downpour. 40 minutes to make 3,5km to get from Greenstone to Linbro Park. Easily the most harrowing drive of my life.

Update: Linbro Park took 55mm of rain yesterday. This brings the total this week alone to 140mm, and the seasonal total to 919mm, as I measure it here. Last year we took 1 050mm, so given the vast amount of moisture pouring in from Botswana, we are on track to exceed that.

http://newsletters2.mg.co.za/servlet/link/6026/47783/6491826/459562

Heavy rains cause havoc in Jo'burg
JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA - Mar 21 2011 07:15

Heavy rains caused havoc in Johannesburg on Sunday night with paramedics and police rescuing trapped motorists and evacuating shack dwellers from flooded informal settlements.

Johannesburg Emergency Services spokesperson Nana Radebe said paramedics rescued three people trapped in a bakkie and minibus taxi at the New Canada bridge at 5pm.

Hope they didn't damage the cricket bats - these things are expensive!

 Man bashed with cricket bats, rolling pins

Two men have been charged after allegedly kidnapping a 25-year-old man and assaulting him with cricket bats and rolling pins in Sydney's inner west.

The 25-year-old victim was at his apartment in Sydney's inner west on Saturday night when two men forced their way in and assaulted him, before taking him to a nearby unit and attacking him with cricket bats and rolling pins.
Police were called to the second unit, on Russell Street in Strathfield, where they arrested two men, aged 22 and 24.
The victim is being treated in hospital for a suspected broken jaw, facial bruises as well as neck and shoulder injuries.

http://bit.ly/husTyu

Gotta love Africa Mk II

http://www.news24.com/Africa/News/Man-tries-to-sell-wifes-head-genitals-20110319

Man tries to sell wife's head, genitals
2011-03-19 20:13

Dar es Salaam - Tanzanian police said on Saturday they arrested a man who tried to sell his wife's head and other body organs including breasts and genitals.

Police said the man confessed during interrogation to killing his wife to sell her body parts because he heard that human organs were in demand in his Shinyanga region in the north of Tanzania.

"The suspect had a plastic bag and claimed to be carrying pork, but police guards at a bank... checked the contents and discovered a human head, breasts, genitals and other parts," said regional police commander Diwani Athumani.

The man, arrested Friday, will undergo a psychiatric test before trial, police said.

Sale of human body parts is not uncommon in the east African state where dozens of albinos have been murdered for their body parts used by traditional healers to concoct lucky charms.

Victory over Bangladesh - a personal memory

Back in 1974 I had the privilege of watching the late Eddie Barlow mastermind a sublime New Year's victory over Transvaal. He took five, Denys Hobson took five. The late Hylton Ackerman had scored an awkward 74 to set up the run chase. Archie Henderson, then the cricket correspondent for the Cape Times, reported on this fabulous victory. I was photographed embracing Eddie on the wicket, on the front page. Eddie then became a lifelong friend. He went on to coach Bangladesh with the same passion with which he embraced everything in life.

He would have crapped bullets yesterday.

78 all out.

England's latest SA recruit

You have to wonder how England would field 11 players if it wasn't for the assembly line of players we give them.

Full name Jade Winston Dernbach

Born April 3, 1986, Johannesburg, South Africa

Current age 24 years 350 days

Major teams England Lions, Surrey, Surrey 2nd XI

Nickname Dirtbag

Batting style Right-hand bat

Bowling style Right-arm medium-fast

Height 6 ft 2 in

Education St John The Baptist, Johannesburg

RIP Bob Woolmer

Today is the fourth anniversary of Bob Woolmer's death.

I had the privilege of playing a great deal of cricket with Bob in Cape Town. Ruddy-cheeked, dashing, he was never short of a joke. Five minutes with Bob were the most memorable ever.


He played with and against the greatest the game has ever known, including the Kerry Packer Series, and dined out on those stories. He was among the greatest coaches the game has known. His books and videos line book stores and still sell. It is surreal to see him and Gary Kirsten in these media.

I was sleeping ahead of broadcasting the day he died. I got to 702 to hear he had died after Pakistan lost to Ireland. It rocked me, and to this day I miss the old bugger.

One last point: to see Bob cover drive was to see pure magic. He drove like a right-handed Graeme Pollock, and only Colin Cowdrey could compare.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/506673.html

One of the saddest of cricket anniversaries falls today. It was during the last World Cup that Bob Woolmer, the highly respected coach of Pakistan, died in mysterious circumstances in a cramped hotel bathroom in Kingston, Jamaica. The police, let alone the conspiracy theorists in the wake of a perplexing defeat by Ireland - even if they were fielding Kevin O'Brien that day - declared his death was being treated as suspicious. The tournament of 2007 never recovered.

Gotta love Africa

(This image shows how King Mswati chooses his next wife. His father had 38 wives; he's aiming to break that record.)

http://bit.ly/ffqbeV

Rolls-driving royal with 14 wives gets a raise, Swaziland erupts
King Mswati III has a Rolls Royce, 13 palaces and 14 wives, and just received a pay increase, even as a cash crisis forced Swaziland to slash spending, feeding anger against his regime.

The government has frozen state wages and imposed higher taxes to fight the country's worst-ever fiscal crisis. Thousands of Swazis marched on the prime minister's office on Friday to demand the resignation of the government.

Swaziland is in the grip of a serious financial crisis and civil servants fear they will not be paid this month after Africa's last absolute monarchy suffered a huge drop in income from the Southern African Customs Union.

My all-time favourite cricketer

Gary Gilmore is widely known (not same spelling) for being executed by Utah. But Gary Gilmour, the Australian, was a simply wonderful all-rounder. At Newlands, when he was playing for International Wanderers in 1975, I saw him hit five sixes in an over - with his right hand, as he had torn his left shoulder, in compiling 80 not out. He gave the Wanderers such a lead they thrashed South Africa, bowling them out for 69.

http://cricketarchive.com/Archive/Scorecards/35/35940.html

For a while, he was the game's most profound allrounder. He never smiled, he never showed any emotion, that I can recall.

And what a bowler. A legend up there with all the greats. Burned briefly, but brilliantly.


(His figures still defy belief. Twelve overs, six maidens, 6-14. When Wisden last year compiled a list of the 100 greatest one-day bowling performances, based on 10 sets of statistical gobbledegook, Gilmour's 6-14 was No. 1.)

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/03/22/1047749987314.html

June 18, 1975

Gary Gilmour
6 for 14 v Australia, semi-final, 1975

England went into their World Cup semi-final against Australia wary of the threat posed by Dennis Lillee and Jeff Thomson after the pummelling they had received the winter before. As it was, they were blown away by Gary Gilmour, a 23-year-old swing bowler playing in only the third of his five ODIs. Gilmour was a late inclusion in the side, but low cloud, a stiff breeze, and a grassy Headingley pitch were ideal for him.

Opening the attack with Lillee, he took 6 for 14 in 12 unchanged overs from the Football Stand end - after nine overs he had 6 for 10 - reducing England to 36 for 6. Greg Chappell had intended bowling him from the Kirkstall Lane End, but Lillee wanted to come downhill, so the junior bowler was switched. Five of the batsmen perished to inswingers, Frank Hayes padding up to one he thought was leaving him but which zipped back so far it might well have been missing leg.

The only one to fall to the awayswinger was Tony Greig, spectacularly caught one-handed by Rodney Marsh leaping wide to his right. England were skittled for 93, but the game wasn't over. The sideways movement and uneven bounce which had scuppered England did much the same for Australia, and when Gilmour strode to the middle his side were 39 for 6.

With Doug Walters at the other end, he threw the bat to good effect, surviving one chance to Greig in the slips with the score on 78, as Australia won by four wickets. Judging the Man of the Match was not a hard decision. Three days later, he took 5 for 48 in the final against West Indies... but that was to be in a losing cause.

Update: Why our waves cannot be compared with tsunamis

http://bit.ly/ePrjAe

Archie posted on Kamran Akmal

KAKMAL. Very funny

Geoff Boycott writes today: "There is one thing for sure. When he gets married and has a child, his wife wouldn't want him to hold it as he'll sure as hell drop it"

Brakpan lifesaver ...

Pic sent by neighbour Danielle van Eck ... caption: "Ek verdrink liewer (I'd rather drown)

The Times took a proper pic of the Zuma shower advert on the M2

Our nightmare has arrived, what will we do?

Good morning, all

John O'Connor gave me a call to ask for Eskom's number, at 1.43AM. No problem. Neighbours help each other. His Eskom cables had been stolen and he needed to report the theft, in the dark, and needed the number.

Ours were stolen time and again. Other neighbours had theirs stolen similarly. All of our Telkom cables disappeared a long time ago, with massive economic consequences.

Two ladies were raped this week.

The roads are collapsing, almost beyond the capacity of any institution to fix them.

Those who own properties neglect them to the deleterious consequences of many, such as rape.

Crime is rampant, infrastructure damaged almost beyond repair. And as construction begins in earnest, we know crime will soar.

We are living in Limbo, not Linbro Park. Who will provide the political leadership to give us a way forward? I submit, that, without pointing fingers, the current LPCA needs to step aside and allow a vote for more progressive, dynamic leadership. And my name is not in the ring. I have no capacity or experience for this.

I have no brief or problems with any of the hard-working LPCA members, but surely the Baltimore no-broken-window rule should apply here? You break the law, in any way, you are held accountable.

I can tell you what will not work: bimonthly or quarterly stuffy, poorly attended meetings where people present non-existent results, ask for annual rates payments, and one individual gathers proxy votes which are rejected, either constitutionally or not.

It's time for a complete rethink. As Steff Dembo says, our lifestyle is going down the tubes, as fast as the birds are losing their homes.

Is radiation bad for you?

We all know Marie Curie died of radiation illness. We all believe tons of radiation is bad for you. Ann Coulter says the accepted wisdom is wrong. If you have not read Ann before, it's worthwhile doing so, as she always swims against the tide.

Here, she says exactly the opposite: that radiation is good for you. You don't have to like her or agree with her, but every Thursday morning she is good value.

http://bit.ly/gliqDU

Update on the rape

Given that our ex-officio mayor will not collaborate with me, for whatever reason, I will do my very best to get this to conclusion. 702 and The Star are on the story. Much, much more to follow.

One of the great cricket speeches of all time, by Stephen Fry

It's missing this bit, as sent to me (errors and all) Thank you ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much indeed.  It is an honour to stand before so many cricketing heroes from England and from Australia and at this, my favourite time of year. The time when that magical summer sound comes to our ears and gladdens our old hearts, the welcome sound of leather on Graham Swann.

I have been asked to say a few words - well more than a few. "You've twenty minutes to fill," I was firmly told by the organisers. 20 minutes. Not sure how I'll use all that time up. Perhaps in about ten minutes or so Andrew Strauss would be kind enough to send on a a physio, that should kill a bit of time.

Now, many of you will be wondering by what right I presume to stand and speak in front of this assembly of all that is high and fine and grand and noble and talented in the world of cricket, and to speak too in this very temple of all that is historic, majestic and ever so slightly preposterous and silly in that world? I certainly can't lay claim to any great cricketing achievements. I can't bat, I can't field, I bowl off the wrong foot. That sounds like a euphemism for something else, doesn't it? "They say he bowls off the wrong foot, know what I mean? He enters stage left. Let me put it this way, he poles from the Cambridge end of the punt." Actually as a matter of fact, although it is true in every sense that I have always bowled off the wrong foot. I have decided, since Sunday, to go into the heterosexual breeding business. My first three sons will be called Collingwood Fry, Anderson Fry and Monty Fry. That's if their mother can ever get them out, of course. But back to the original question you so intelligently, if rhetorically, asked. If I can't play, what can I do? I can umpire, I suppose, after a fashion. A fashion that went out years ago around the time of those two peerless umpires, perhaps some of you are old enough to remember them, Jack Crapp and Arthur Fagg. I remember them.  I remember them every morning, as a matter of fact: Crapp and Fagg. Though now, sadly, the law says we can no longer do it in public places. And I believe that may even apply to smoking too. Anyway. We were on the subject of why I'm speaking to you. I don't play. I'm not even a cricketing commentator, journalist or writer. I suppose the only right I have to be amongst you, the cricketing élite, might derive from my being said to represent, here in the Long Room, all those who have spent their lives loving the game at a safe distance from the square. It is love for the game that brings me here.


http://bit.ly/gkSUhS

Roebuck on the minnows: brilliant

http://blogs.espncricinfo.com/surfer/archives/2011/03/dropping_the_as.php